Gospel Doctrine Class – The Abrahamic Covenant

I’d like to apologize for the controversy that erupted during Gospel Doctrine class today. For those who were sick among us and not able to attend, we pray that you’ll either be better or less offended next week, and that you’ll be up to joining us. I provide a recap of the lesson here.

Abraham took his son Issac to a distant mountain to sacrifice him. And an angel came down to stop him at the last second, presumably because Abraham had proven the point that he would do what the Lord told him to do. The first major eruption came when Sister Colby, our ward assistant canning specialist, asked the question “If Prozac or Zoloft had been available, do you think Abraham would have had such a prompting? By taking these medications, do we cut ourselves off from the kind of profound spiritual experiences and growth that Abraham had?”

Now, before we go any further, I’d like to state for the record that Brother Parks, even though he is a member of the bishopric, is a pharmacist and therefore may not have the most objective viewpoint when it comes to answering this sort of question. We all know how he feels about the subject, so I don’t need to rehash that out here. I will say that since he’s only in the Bishopric and the pharmacy manager at Costco, it doesn’t really follow that he can speak for the drug companies that want to continue to enslave us all. He has his masters. I stand by my statement that I’d hope Thomas S. Monson wouldn’t have to take any medication, and that if he does, it could (and I say COULD) mean that he’s being led astray. But, since the bishop told us to end this line of discussion after ten minutes, I’ll drop the matter here and allow any of you with a differing opinion to voice that in the comments.

The next line of discussion came when it was pointed out that the Jaredites left the Old World before the Abrahamic Covenant began. So, how could this group of people be taken to a chosen land if they weren’t even the chosen people? Quite a quandary, I tell you.

I don’t know how the discussion went from there to the seerstones that the Brother of Jared had created, and I don’t know where those seerstones are now. The speculation was raised as to whether it was possible that Elder Richard G. Scott, of the Quorum of the Twelve, knew anything about these seerstones and if there was any relation to him having worked for the U.S. Navy as a nuclear engineer and being a member of the Quorum of the Twelve, and if any of the nuclear fleet of ships and submarines proudly defending the United States of America were actually being powered by those seerstones that the Brother of Jared took to the mountaintop. Like I said in class, it’s just speculation, and while he probably wouldn’t teach that in General Conference (due to security issues), it’s probably a good topic of discussion for Family Home Evening.

Kind of makes you proud, though, thinking that the core of a nuclear submarine is actually a relic from the Jaredite civilization? Perhaps it’s time they commissioned a new sub called the U.S.S. Joseph Smith.

Again, my apologies to anyone who got their knickers in a twist and got offended at my comments. The guilty take the truth to be hard. Although causing Sister Johanson’s nosebleed was a bit out of line. We’ll be sure to keep her in our thoughts and prayers, and maybe the Priest’s Quorum should go back to taking the sacrament to the nursing home instead of bringing them to church with the rest of us. Just sayin’.

Tags: big pharma, Brother of Jared, Navy